Stop Hurting the Woman You Love: Breaking the Cycle of Abusive Behavior


There are many books available about domestic violence and abuse. Stop Hurting the Woman You Love is different – it speaks directly to the abusive man. Co-authors, Charlie Donaldson and Randy Flood have over 40 years of combined expertise and thousands of hours of therapeutic work in the area of domestic relationships. They’ve helped many men learn to stop abusive behavior and stop hurting the people they love. This book combines their knowledge and expertise into a down-to-earth, easy-to-understand, “how-to” self-help manual that will help you understand and avoid domestic violence.



Not Your Typical Anger Management Book

Stop Hurting the Woman You Love is much more than an anger management book. Chapters include:

  • 5 Lies That Ruin Lives – Learn how distorted thinking can create havoc in your life. Then learn how to stop this thinking and move toward more harmonious relationships.
  • The Time-Out: Avoiding Aggression and Violence Now – Learn how to use fast-acting self interventions to stop unnecessary aggression and violence before it starts.
  • How Did I Get This Way? The Trap – Learn how the way we socialize men in our culture has contributed to the problem of domestic abuse. Learn how to move past the unhealthy lessons you have been taught and move toward a healthier and more satisfying personal life.
  • The Dynamics of Domestic Abuse – Begin to understand on a much deeper level what exactly domestic abuse is, how it damages your relationships, and how it hurts the woman you love.
  • Sons and Daughters – Find the inspiration, supportive insight, and encouragement you need to stop the denial and stop the cycle of abuse.
  • The Continuing Journey – Find advice on how to ask for help and how to find a therapist that is right for you. Read stories of other men, just like you, who have stepped up to the task and set out onto the road of success.

You’ll also learn simple, effective tools, such as TIME OUT and the TEMPER Technique, that are fast-acting alternatives to abusive behavior.

What Does a Healthy Relationship Look Like?

  • Stop Hurting the Woman You Love will give you insight into what a “good” or “healthy” relationship looks like and how to get there. The book
  • Helps you understand the dynamics of domestic abuse; helps you understand how you find yourself being abusive and controlling.
  • Offers compassion and understanding so you can face your difficulties head-on, without overwhelming feelings of shame and guilt.
  • Gives insight into vicious cycles, patterns, and pitfalls that keep you from moving forward.
  • Helps you understand your own personality and experiences so you can see more clearly why you do what you do, and why you feel how you feel.
  • Gives step-by-step guides on how to navigate through situations that usually leave you saying or doing something you later regret.

Stopping Abusive Behavior – Not Just for Men

Stop Hurting the Woman You Love isn’t just for the man who thinks he might be abusive. It can help the woman who’s been hurt identify if her partner is truly abusive and give her options for seeking help. It offers friends and family insight into abusive behavior and a better understanding so they can be supportive in ways that are productive. And it can assist health professionals and clergy in identifying the people in their care who need far more than couples’ counseling.


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